Its Beginning to look a lot like Christmaaaass~~

I love Christmas time! Everyone's so merry and everythings so Christmasssyy!!!!

And theres SUGAR.

Sugar cookies with sugar toppings and CHOCOLATE.

It's truly truly truly amazing.

You can't help but be happy during Christmas!

How can you not be happy when there is happiness in the air Choking you and ripping around the hearts of little children

I love eet.

I am currently in the process of making christmas presents for everyone!

Cheap Christmas presents though.

Because i'm poor.

...very very poor.

:

BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS YAAAAYYYY~~~~~~

The Christmas songs. They must be played.

Well...
I'm a failure.
I vowed to myself that i wouldn't cut again.
I did it anyways.
And the next day was the worst day of my life and you know what?
I was 5 seconds away from cutting myself.
But..
I stopped myself. and...i'm happy somehow.
This doesn't make sense.
Nothing makes sense.
I stopped myself from cutting on one of the worst days of my life
but, on a normal day where i was just feeling bad
i couldn't.
What the fuck is up with that?
Whatever. I'll try harder this time.
I swear.

I'm Surprised

People actually know my name.
People actually talked to me today.
This is....Well this is amazing.
I guess i'm not as invisible as i thought i was?
I also wore my Halo shirt today.
Cute guy behind me talked to me.
"You like Halo?"
"Oh...Yeah. You?"
"Yeah. You played ODST yet?"
"Mmm..unfortunately no. It good?"

And then he went on to fanboy mode and talked about how it was the best thing since sliced bread and it was better than Halo 3 and i should totally play it ASAP.
It was Cute.

Things never change do they.

I've always told people not to get comfortable because life likes to lure you into a false sense of security and then bitch slap you across the face.
Unfortunately i never listen to my own advice.
School has been fine. As fine as it can be. Its just the same feeling of Deja Vu over and over again.
The same "You've said that before" and "We already know this" Feelings.
No. School isn't the problem. Its my fucked up brain that won't ever let me be happy. I've reverted to sitting in corners and crying till i can't feel anything anymore. Now I'm no doctor but that can't be healthy.
Right now all i want to do is grab these scissors in front of me and stab myself in the face.
But i won't. Because it hasn't become unbearable yet.
I'll wait until this feeling has passed.
It'll pass. I'm sure.

Fashion Show/A Fine Frenzy/WIN

I went to a fashion show as a field trip yesterday
before i get to the actual fashion show i would like to talk about the ride there
You remember those movies about kids going to camp and the whole bus singing a long to annoying random songs?
Yeah..that was pretty much it.
Lemme see if i can remember the songs we sang:
Dont Stop Believing
Pokemon Theme song
Digimon Theme song
The Beginning of Best Of Both Worlds
Blues Clues Theme Song
I Got A Feeling
A Whole New World
And a whole bunch of other songs i either can't remember or didn't know in the first place.
It was veryy fun.
On to the actual show.
There were acrobatics, Opera, Spoken word poetry, some DJ from Best Dance Crew?, and A FINE FRENZY.
LOVELOVELOVE.
Sadly i think i was the only one who knew who they were. :/
Some models were nice.
Some models just did their job and walked around like they were better then you.
...I wanna be a model and walk around like i'm better than everyone!!
Anyways.
I made it a point to not cheer for the mean models and only to the nice ones.
One of them waved at me~~
Haha. Lingere came last.
.........................Uhmmm....My voice hurts from screaming too much.
Seriously though at that point the crowd would not fuckin shut up.
It was hilarious.
So! Thatt was how i spent my friday.

Mental Breakdown y/n?

Might be having a mental breakdown.
See, my 0 readers, theres this boy that was my friend and after some shit(Shit that wasn't my fault..just wanted to clarify) i do not want to discuss he hates me.
Wants to see me dead.
Get it?
Kay.
He was homeschooled then went to some schools and he changes schools frequently since he has anxiety problems and sometimes goes back to homeschooling.
I shoulda seen this coming.
I've been seeing someone that looks like him at my school.
At first i thought i was going crazy but then...
I passed him on the way to class and he was laughing with a friend and he sees me
says oh shit
and covers his face with his jacket.
I look straight ahead and ignore this.
I can't take it.
The first time i saw him i was just behind him on the way up stairs...
I feel horrible that the reason i thought it was him is because of the way he dressed and the way he shook his head.
Why do i notice these things?
Why do i only notice these things about him?
I sincerely hope i'm going crazy and its really not him.

Didn't even get his name...

Contrary to the title of this post it wasn't a bad day.
I went to the beach with my family saw a rock formation that looked like a dinosaur. Proceeded to imagine said rock formation was actually a dinosaur and pretended i was riding it...
No sane 15 year old would never admit that, huh?
It was a beautiful day and i was pissed that i didn't bring my camera..
Which is the reason this post isn't filled with mediocre pictures with captions like this:
'OMG Isn't this, liek, the purdiest picture of a sunset you've evar seen!!11!!eleven!'
But i had a very nice conversation with a guy who was taking pictures.
Yes. I talked to someone today.
I was social.
Believe It.
He was nice.
Bad thing?
I didn't even get his name...

"Its not about what kind of camera you have, really, its about how you use it"

Truer words were never spoken, camera guy.